Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Putting the darkling in knightingale

Na-na-na-na-na Batman movie. Went to this only because they said it was a really good reflection of Library 2.0.

They also said the Batman would be dark. And this time they promised. They even put it in the title. Well, was he? Was he what! - without spoiling anything here's the proof:
  • Batman goes out at night. A lot.
  • Batman wears black clothing. Some of that clothing is rubbery. It is bat-themed. It squeaks. It includes a mask, which has pointy tips and a certain slittiness.
  • Batman trims the edge of his cape with pinking shears.
  • Batman vows never to be a blond Batman.
  • Batman speaks in a pretend voice. It is raspy.
  • Batman doesn't like being mistaken for Dracula and bites people when they do.
  • Batman steals Darth Vader's respirator.
  • Batman has an anger management problem that turns him green on the inside, like licorice.
  • Batman has a lightshow but it's always the same.
  • Batman turns up unannounced.
  • Batman lurks on the top of tall buildings watching for Superman with envious thoughts in his heart.
  • Batman leaves a room before the other person has finished speaking.
  • Batman is unkind to dogs.
  • Batman has never owned a cat.
  • Batman has a servant, and he doesn't get holidays.
  • Batman pretends Robin never existed.
  • Batman drives over the speed limit.
  • Batman drives on the wrong side of the road.
  • Batman drives on the footpath.
  • Batman drives through buildings.
  • Batman doesn't indicate when turning.
  • Batman is third wheel in the classic goodcop, badcop, supercop routine.
  • Batman takes other people's guns and breaks them.
  • Batman stitches are tied off in a bow with pointy tips.
  • Batman mutters 'ka-pow!' under his breath every time he hits someone, even though he knows he shouldn't.
  • Batman keeps his pieces of kryptonite in a pet rock collection and pastes little wiggly eyes on them.
  • Batman refuses to take his gloves off when he washes the dishes.
  • Batman is dumped by his girlfriend before the movie starts.
  • Batman is just another bitterly unhappy billionaire vigilante playboy genius who can't get more than three dates at once.
And there must be many more examples of his insane darkness. So loudly promised and so finely delivered it's an analogy for the state of something. Or not.

2 comments:

NSL Training Support Team said...

So what does Batman think of Library 2.0? Any fantastic uses for the technology in our libraries?
Till later- 'Same Bat time, same Bat channel.'

SoAndSo said...

Well, the Burtman did have a Batcomputer which was googley in its perspicacity; but notably the Burtman didn't share it with anyone, just Robin. And he's been "forgotten" now.

Nevertheless, probably the Burtman would want all staff to have a utility belt, on which would be the following: iphone, wii remote, webcam, and a yottabyte of storage. And sonar.